The sign outside the store said, “NOTICE: NO PROPANE CYLINDERS ALLOWED INSIDE.”
Jaysen had always wondered why propane cylinders weren’t allowed in the store, until the one fateful day when he had a little too much to drink, and the mischievous devil who sat on his shoulder whispered a little too loudly in his ear. That day, Jaysen had a life-changing idea. He would find out once and for all why propane cylinders were not allowed inside.
His pickup truck crunched onto the gravel lot. Jaysen hopped out, slipped his hockey mask over his face, and strode to the rear bed with determination. He pulled two heavy propane cylinders from the back of the truck, then made his way to the front of the store. As soon as Jaysen walked into the store carrying those propane tanks, Phil, the store’s owner, hurriedly approached him waving his hands and saying, “No, no, no, keep those outside, Jay.”
Ignoring the protests, Jaysen swung his arms backward, then hurled the full propane cylinders with all his might toward the back of the store. They made a loud clanging sound as each of them rang against the concrete floor of the shop and immediately burst into flames. Jaysen calmly turned and walked out the door, while Phil screamed in distress. Getting back into his pickup truck, Jaysen never looked back as the entire store exploded behind him.
The police would be after him soon. Chills of exhilaration danced down his spine as he pressed hard on the gas and accelerated out of the parking lot. He had never felt this alive.
A quarter mile down the country road there was a gas station. Jaysen pulled in and parked his car next to the first gas pump. There was nobody else around.
The sign on the fuel pump said, “DANGER: TURN OFF ENGINE WHILE REFUELING.”
A malicious smile crept across Jaysen’s face. He kept the keys in the ignition with the engine on and stepped out of his truck. Slipping his hockey mask back on, he paid the gas pump, put the nozzle into the filler tube, and started filling his tank. With his car engine still on and the gas pumping into the tank, he turned and walked toward the gas station convenience store. He never looked back at the spectacular explosion that followed.
Now, Jaysen could hear sirens in a distance. He stopped in front of a soda machine just outside of the store.
The sign on the soda machine said, “WARNING: DO NOT TIP OR ROCK THIS VENDING MACHINE.”
Jaysen grinned under his hockey mask. He placed his big hands on the top corners of the vending machine and began to rock it violently. As the police cars and a fire truck pulled into the gas station parking lot, the vending machine fell onto Jaysen, crushing him and killing him instantly.
The rest of the vending machine warning sign, the part that Jaysen didn’t read because it was written below the stick figure icon of a man getting crushed, said, “TIPPING OR ROCKING MAY CAUSE SERIOUS INJURY OR DEATH,” and that is exactly what happened.
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