The Tale of Wonders

A gender-flipped modern retelling of The Ditmarsch Tale of Wonders from Grimm’s Fairy Tales

I will tell you something. I saw two rotisserie chickens flying. They flew upside-down in the sky. I also saw an anvil and a millstone float across the river. I watched a frog sit on the sidewalk and swallow a bicycle. Three women on crutches wanted to catch a rabbit. One of them was deaf, the second blind, the third mute, and the fourth could not walk. Do you want to know how they did it? First, the blind woman saw the rabbit running across the field. Then the mute one called to the deaf one, and the one who could not walk chased it down and grabbed it by the neck.

There were certain women who wished to sail on dry land. They set their sails in the wind, and sailed away over great fields. Then they sailed over a high mountain, and there they drowned. A crab was chasing a rabbit which was running away at full speed. High up on the roof lay a cow which had climbed up there. In that land the flies are as big as goats. Open the window, so that the lies may fly out.